The benefits of having a pen pal

In today’s world, most young people use their phones to communicate. We can send a message via Snapchat or WhatsApp within seconds. It’s quick and convenient, which can cause the messages to be rushed and impersonal, with little thought behind them. Additionally, the over-reliance on texting can cause us to lose social and language skills, as we hang out in person less and use abbreviations and autocorrect. Having a pen pal is different. In addition to strengthening linguistic skills, you are able to establish a more meaningful friendship with your pen pal, as you get to know each other on a deeper and more personal level. For me, it was exciting to receive a real letter in the post—something you can keep forever rather than a message that gets buried in your inbox. Overall, penpals are not just a way of passing the time but a powerful way of learning, connecting with each other on a personal basis, and improving our well-being.

Improving Communication Skills

Writing a letter forces you to think carefully, as writing by hand takes longer than typing, meaning you take longer to think about your words and get a specific tone across to your pen pal more intentionally. Writing letters can also reduce screen time and provide a calming, creative activity. And, unlike with texting, you can’t rely on things like autocorrect or quick replies, so you have to structure your sentences clearly and think carefully about the tone you want to convey to your penpal. This was shown in a study published in 2021 by the University of Mississippi, where students who wrote regularly to pen pals improved their written fluency and vocabulary. This is helpful for schoolwork, especially in English Literature, as it teaches you to structure ideas, write engagingly, and use descriptive language. It can even improve how you explain and argue points in essays, because you practice presenting information in a way that makes sense to a real reader. Over time, this can make you a more confident and effective communicator. Personally, pen pal writing helped me improve my English skills as I learnt how to structure my sentences better, and it also helped me widen my vocabulary.

Building Long-Lasting Friendships

Many pen pal friendships last for decades. Global Penfriends, an online pen pal community, has witnessed members having been in touch for over 40 years. One of the reasons for this is that letters are personal and detailed, helping to build a deeper trust. You become closer through sending letters frequently to each other, which is more connecting emotionally than quick online chats, as you are able to establish a close emotional connection with each other through the personal messages you send to each other. Additionally, texting your friends online does not require that much dedication, whereas penpalling does; you have to continue writing back in order to stay in contact and keep your friendship alive. Admittedly, this requires more effort – which is what helps the connection be stronger. 

Over time, these friendships can even lead to meeting in person and creating lifelong memories. One of the longest-lasting known pen pal relationships is 83 years. Ruth Magee and Beryl Richmond, who hold a Guinness record for this, started penpalling through a school pen pal programme and have continued to do so ever since. This record-breaking correspondence is just one example showing how penpal relationships can last for nearly a lifetime.

Boosting Mental Well-being
Another benefit of having a pen pal is that it can improve your mental health. Life can be stressful, and sometimes social media makes it worse because of constant notifications or feeling pressured to reply quickly. However, writing a letter is different. It feels calming and creative, almost like journaling, because you can take your time to write about your thoughts without any rush and even decorate the letter. These details add a personal touch, helping you to get to know your pen pal and create a close bond.

In contrast, social media can sometimes promote a more casual and transactional form of communication. It’s way too easy to “ghost” someone for no reason at all. You can scroll past notifications and avoid engagement without it feeling significant. While pen pal letters can technically be ignored, it’s much harder to justify going silent when you’ve taken the time to send letters to each other and express your feelings to each other too.

Evidence from the Writing Back project shows how impactful penpal writing can be on your mental health. This project paired university students with older adults to exchange letters. Results showed that 94% of students and 95% of older participants reported positive effects on their emotional well-being, showing that letter writing can help people feel more connected and less lonely.

Learning About Different Cultures

One of the best aspects of having a pen pal is learning about another person’s culture. For example, if your penpal lives in another country, they can tell you about their traditions, celebrations, and everyday life, and in return, you can share your own. This exchange helps break stereotypes by learning about each other’s countries directly from someone who lives there instead of believing popular misconceptions. For example, one of my pen pals is from the United States of America, so it’s interesting to see how school life there differs from the United Kingdom. These real-life details feel more meaningful than reading from a textbook or even watching a TikTok video. When you read a letter from someone who actually lives in another country, it feels like you are seeing the world through their eyes. This can make you more open-minded and respectful towards other cultures. 

Having a pen pal goes beyond writing letters; it's a way to learn about different cultures, improve communication skills, boost mental health, and form lasting friendships. Evidence from studies and real-life experiences shows that the benefits are both personal and educational. In a fast-paced world, taking the time to write to a pen pal reminds us that meaningful connections are worth the effort.